Don’t think too much, if you want something, just go for it.
Don’t think too much, if you want something, just go for it.
The second time you fall in love with someone, you’re going to feel so relieved. When you get your heart broken for the first time, you can’t imagine loving someone else again or having someone else love you. You worry about your ex finding love before you do, you worry about being damaged goods. And then it happens. Someone else loves you and you can sleep well at night.
The second time you fall in love with someone, it’s going to feel different. The first time felt like a dream almost. You were untouched, untainted by anyone. You accepted love with wide open arms and desperation. “Love me, love me, love me!” So you did. And then it fell apart and left you shocked to the core. You realized that people could be cruel and break your heart. You realized that people could stop meaning the sweet things they said to you just yesterday. So when you go into it again, you’re going to keep in mind everything that you’ve learned. You’re going to say, “Love me, love me, love me…until you don’t. In which case, I would like some advance warning. Thanks!”
The second time you fall in love with someone, you’re going to compare it to your first love. That’s okay. That’s natural. You’re going to be studying the new love with judgement and wariness. “My ex never liked broccoli. Why the hell does this one eat so much broccoli?!” Discovering that you have the ability to love multiple people who are different and feel different is initially very jarring. Loving an unfamiliar body will leave you disoriented and in dire need of a map. That’s okay too. That’s to be expected. Just ask the new love for directions.
The second time you fall in love with someone, you’re going to suffer from a bout of amnesia. You’re going to poke and prod at your lover’s body and be like, “Wait, how do I do this again? How do I love you? I think it starts with us having a moment together in some coffee shop, right?” It’s going to feel scary at first. Falling in love is sort of like riding a bike though. You never really forget.
The second time you fall in love with someone, you’ll be a more sane person. Your first love is when you get all of your insanity out. You behave like an insane monster because your mind is freaking out about all these new powerful feelings. By the second time, however, you have an idea of what works and what doesn’t. It’s by no means perfect. The insanity will make a cameo at some point. “Peek a boo. I’m here! Hope you didn’t forget about me!” But you can usually shoo it away after awhile.
The second time you fall in love with someone, you will hopefully have better sex. Do not quote me on this.
The second time you fall in love with someone will still be exciting and you might even talk about moving in together or marriage. It will feel more “adult.” You have no idea what adult love actually is but you think it involves making coffee for each other in the morning and maybe even getting a dog. “This is my dog, Xan. I got him with the second person I fell in love with because that’s what you do! The first person I was in love with would’ve killed a dog.”
The second time will not be the first time. The first time is an insane magical life gift that you can never reclaim. But that’s okay. The second time is more real anyway. The second time can involve some amazing love.
I’m at that age where all I can think about is my future. Everything I’m doing now, I’m doing for my future. And the more that I look at my life 5 years from now, 10 years from now… I don’t know. I don’t see you there.
depression is when you don’t really care about anything
anxiety is when you care too much about everything
and having both is just like whatHaving both is staying in bed because you don’t want to go to school and then panicking because you don’t want to fail. Having both is wanting to go see your friends so you don’t lose them all, then staying home in bed because you don’t want to make the effort. Having both is insanely hard and sucks to deal with.
and to those with these, you’re really strong.
You’ve damaged me enough, and I’m not going to let you do it anymore. I’m done giving you the benefit of the doubts, and if cutting off everything is what it’ll take, then that’s what I will do.
Anybody can put on make up and “wow” someone instantly. But how long is that effect going to last? Sweep a girl off her feet with your personalities, make a change in her life, open up, let her in, disrupt her daily cycle, drive her crazy, make her feel special- because years from now, she’ll look back and still remember how much of an impact you’ve left on her. And she’ll remember how you were, as the whole package, instead of just a glimpse of how you looked. Beauty does fades- so remember that. I still remember every person that have left an impact on my life no matter how long or short we’ve talked but I never seemed to remember who I thought were “hot” at parties.
A few years ago, my family struggled a lot and I hated seeing them worked so hard to provide barely enough. However, they never complained and they seemed happy living their life because they were just doing their own things. But for me, I guess I’ve always thought that they deserved more. So I grew up with one and only goal in mind- to work harder than anyone and achieve anything that I have set my mind to. Lately, I have achieved most things I wanted but I had this crazy realization that I didn’t care about none of it- or just all of the materials things that I was able to buy. Another thing that scared me is realizing how much I have sacrificed just to get to where I am today. I have let go of a lot of relationships because I wanted to “focus on my future”. I have left a lot of people behind just because I didn’t have time to “care” about them. And I didn’t have much “time” to spend with my family either. Until today, I have realized that relationships are worth so much more. Family are so much more. & I am glad to be able to realize this early so I can fix myself early before I go a little too far and can’t go back. I’m so much more happier now when I can actually use the money I could make and give it to those who needs it more than me. Not only that, I’ve been spending a lot of time with that one special person and it have been nothing but all sort of amazing. I finally feel like I’m heading in the right direction and it’s the most that I’ve feel at peace with myself.